


What's Real

by tonguetiedluhan



Category: EXO
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 01:10:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13330308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonguetiedluhan/pseuds/tonguetiedluhan
Summary: Sehun never thought that he'd fall for them, but alas, he didn't have a chance.





	What's Real

**Author's Note:**

> DON'T EXPECT TOO MUCH. THIS IS A FAILURE.
> 
> A piece of trash attempt for prompt 38 or
> 
> In which Luhan has multiple personalities(Schizophrenia) and both personalities seem to like the same nerdy with freckles guy from English class.
> 
> I'm so sorry (most especially to the mods) This isn't what I had in mind when I first received the prompt and I barely managed to produce this trash. I failed miserably and I don't know how to make up for it. My original storyline isn't even close to this and I'M A DISAPPOINTMENT 
> 
> A big thanks to all readers, especially to the mods for painstakingly organizing and moderating this fic fest, and to YOU, for still believing in our OTP.

Loving Han is like running after a child through an amusement park – at times it is exhausting but it has always been an exhilarating experience, something that I’ll never replace with anything.

 

Loving Lu is like floating in the sea, with the waves gently rocking the boat – at times it is too relaxed but there are moments that manage to take my breath away, something that I always look forward to.

 

 

The first time we met was uneventful. It was two weeks after the official start of classes, but being the bum that I am, I arrived late for my English class, not knowing that it was the start of something unexpected.

I grabbed a seat at the back of the room, aware of the eyes on me. Not that I’m used to it but I’ve managed to tolerate them. Considering that Seoul University is a populated campus, I’m surprised that people seemed unused to the idea of a transferee.

Tuning out the murmurs around me, my eyes shifted to the professor who was discussing about final term papers. But before I could focus on what the professor was saying, my eyes were caught by a tuft of honey blonde hair a few seats away from. There is something about this guy that seems familiar, but I could not point where I could have seen him.

The professor kept on rambling about something and while I know I should be paying attention to him, I couldn’t bring myself to focus. This went on for several moments and for the first time in a while, I felt something that I have only felt once before. The bell rang signaling the end of the class. Since I barely managed to focus my attention in this class, my things were safely tucked in my bag, as it was like before I managed to spend almost one hour of my day staring at someone’s head.

While walking out of the room, somebody tapped my shoulder, bringing me to a halt. To my surprise, it was the honey blonde guy, who is currently smiling widely at me.  

I must have been staring for a while when the guy snapped his fingers at me.

“Hi! I’m Han!” The cute guy said.

“Ohhh, hey. I’m Oh Sehun, you can call me Sehun instead. Nice to meet you?” I stammered.

“Huh? You’re not sure if it’s nice to meet me?” The cute guy had the audacity to pout! Is he trying to kill me?

“No!” I said, a little loud that it caught the attention of others. “Uhm, it is nice meeting you Han. Is there something that you need?” I asked, trying to divert the conversation.

“Well, I just want to introduce myself to you and be your friend. It’s the only class that I don’t share with my friends, so I don’t really know anyone here. I was hoping if I could ask for your number.”

I stared at him for a moment, not believing that this cute guy has the gall to ask for my number first, not that I mind.

“I know what you’re thinking and you’re wrong. I’m asking for your number, so I have someone to ask if there is anything to do for the class in case I miss it. And maybe you’re a bit right. I just couldn’t resist your cute freckles, you know?” He said mischievously. 

 

And that was when I knew that this cute guy will be the death of me.

 

 

Several months has passed since I first met Han when he randomly asked for my number and ever since then, we’ve occasionally sat beside each other during our English class, the only class that we share. There are days that I notice that he’s not as bubbly as before and during these days, he sits away from me. It bothers me every time, makes me think that I might have done something wrong or said something that offended him. Instead of bugging him about it, I just observe him.

It was like seeing a different Han. If Han is this ball of sunshine who always seem to see the good in everything, this Han is more subdued in a way. While he’s not as talkative, his attention is more focused to the professor, his smiles are more reserved and timid, but, nonetheless, still as sweet as his wide-eyed smiles.

I don’t dare mention these observations to him every time he sits next to me because he has his reasons why he’s not telling me things and I’d rather wait for him to tell me about it than destroy our friendship, most especially now that I’m pretty sure that his smiles are the one that makes my days bearable.

I’m man enough to admit that I’m falling for him, and I don’t think anything could change what I feel for him. 

 

 

It was after I invited him to watch a film that I had my suspicions confirmed – that I’m falling not for one but for two completely different being.

As confused as I was, I never turned away from what I feel. After all, who I am but a mere person who fell for both of their qualities?

For Han, that despite his childishness, has enrapture my heart with his passion, that every time he calls me Sehunnie, it makes my heart pound infinitely more, always leaving me an exhilarating experience afterwards.

For Lu, who I may have belatedly knew his name of, but surely not of what I feel for him, that despite being soft spoken and mellow, he has beguiled me with his wisdom, that calling me formally as Sehun has never failed to take my breath away, making me wish he would call my name more frequently.

Others may know them as Lu and Han. Others may view them separately from one another.

And while they are different from one another, they are one in my eyes and what I feel for Han is no different from what I feel for Lu.

 

 

Sehun managed to trick Lu Han into joining him for dinner when he told the latter that he has something to show Lu Han at his apartment. Much to Lu Han’s surprise, when he entered Sehun’s apartment, the table was adorned with candles and with decorated with Lu Han’s favorite flower, peony.

“Hi Sehun. What’s the occasion?” Lu asked.

“You’ve been unusually gloomy these past few weeks, so I thought this could cheer you up.” Sehun said as he pulled a chair for Lu to sit on.

“You didn’t have to do this you know? I’m fine and I don’t know what you’re talking about me being gloomy. It’s just the way that I am.” Lu said as he settled down.

“I think I know you enough to differentiate a happy Han from a gloomy Lu. And shouldn’t you be happy? Our classes are ending, soon it’ll be the summer vacation and you have all the time you need to do what you want.” Sehun said as he offered Lu their first meal.

“Well, yeah. I don’t know, maybe I’m just tired with all the preparations for Han’s exhibit.” Lu said as he takes his first bite, trying to sound cheerful for Sehun’s sake.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry if I brought it up. But I want you to know that I’m always here for you, okay?” Sehun said with a smile.

“Hey, you didn’t do anything wrong. If there’s someone who needs to apologize, it should be me. You’ve invited us to your home and prepared something for us. If it wasn’t for your invitation, we are probably eating ramen out of the cup.”

“Well, I didn’t invite you for nothing, besides it’s no bother to me since I always enjoy your companies. You’re amazing, you’re just too stubborn not to see that.” Sehun remarked while looking into Lu’s eyes.

 

Lu looked at Sehun for a long time after hearing what he said while the latter went to the kitchen to get their dessert. Something tells him that cheering him up is not only the reason why Sehun prepared him dinner, considering the kind of man that Sehun is.

“Hey Sehun. What’s up? What is this dinner really for?” 

“Why can’t you just appreciate what I’ve prepared for you?”

“Thank you for this, but you know how I am, I won’t stop until you tell me. Just tell me this and I promise I’ll stop.”

 

Sehun has his back to the table and Lu could see that he was fighting the urge not to burst because of Lu’s stubbornness. Lu felt a bit guilty for pushing Sehun to tell him what’s the dinner for but with his current state, he’s not one to settle for unanswered questions.

 

_Maybe he intends to refuse my invitation to the exhibit, don’t you think?_ Han asked.

_I don’t know Han. Do you want to talk to him? Maybe you can talk to him better than I can._ Lu answered.

_I don’t think I can handle this better than you do. I’ll just observe how it goes._ Han said.

 

Sehun stood up and brought the dishes to the sink. It took him a while before he could answer Lu Han.

 

“I hope after this you wouldn’t be indifferent to me. Lu Han, promise me that we’ll still be friends after this.”

“What are you saying, Se-“

Lu Han was not able to finish what he’s going to say as Sehun lessened the gap between them and pressed his lips unto Lu Han’s. Sehun has his eyes closed as he pressed more into the kiss, tasting Lu Han’s raspberry flavored lipgloss and holding Lu Han’s face in his hands. After a few seconds, he slowly lifted his lips from Lu Han’s and opened his eyes. Lu Han, with his doe eyes, was staring back at him.

 

It was that moment that Sehun felt that Lu Han could see all of him, his past experiences, his unspoken feelings for the man in front of him.

 

However, Lu seemed to have other ideas. The smaller man stood up and left the kitchen, retrieved his coat and was about to open the door before Sehun has managed to catch up to him after gathering his senses. He hugged him from behind, not letting Lu Han get away before he could say his feelings for the latter.

 

“Lu, and I know you can hear me Han, please listen to me. I know that it’s too much to take in but I have been in love with you for quite some time now. I don’t know when I started to fall for you but know that I am sincere with my feelings for you. I’m not expecting you to love me back, I just want you to know how I feel for you. You’re amazing, you’re wonderful. You’re rainbow personified. It wasn’t hard not to fall for you, it was more difficult not to love you, you know that. I wish I could be the one that you love, but I know I had to try or else I’ll regret not taking the chance when I had it.

 

You are many things Luhan, but crazy isn't one of them. Yeah, you've had your moments but that what makes you who you are. I wouldn't want you to change for me, or for anybody else. I fell in love with who you are, whether it is Lu who always scrunch up his nose in concentration, or Han who would always drag me to the bubble tea shop. I love you for all that you are – whether you’re Lu or Han. I wouldn't want you to change anything for me.” Sehun said, pressing his lips to Lu Han’s soft hair.

 

They stayed at that position for some time, not one muscle moving, save for their heavy breathing. Lu, still in the arms of Sehun, faced the taller man and hug him back, burrowing his face into the chest of the latter, letting his hug deliver what he wants to say.

 

“Sehun,” Lu begins.

 

“I – I, can’t. I’m not the one for you.” He sobs into Sehun’s chest.

 

Sehun did see this one coming, of his love being unreturned, on being the losing end of the equation. He knows he shouldn’t have let on his feelings for the other man but he couldn’t help but fall.

“Don’t love me because of how you see me as. Love is fleeting, never declare what it means, Sehun. You deserve someone better than us. Someone who will make you laugh and happy, someone who will always be there for you.” 

“But you make me happy Lu Han. You’re always there for me, you always have been. You manage to make my shitty days better when no one else can.” Sehun tried telling Lu Han who just burst more into tears upon hearing what the former said.

 

“Sehunnie, why me? Why us?” Han asked, still in the arms of Sehun.

“Sometimes there's no why, or not one we can understand. I just do. Believe me when I say that I love you beyond the telling of it. You don’t have to give me an answer, just you knowing how I feel for you is enough.” Sehun answered truthfully.

Several moments have passed, Lu Han was still in Sehun’s arms. At this point Sehun’s conflicted whether he made the right decision of confessing to Lu Han. He doesn’t have an idea whose personality he’s talking to but he believes that both Lu and Han heard what he has said.

 

“When I was younger, there are many that I could not understand, but all of these don't matter anymore.” Han started.

 

“When I met you, nothing seems to add up, nothing make sense. I’m always confused, I kept feeling throbbing in my chest and that’s when I realize…” Lu continued.

 

 “Love wasn't supposed to happen. Not in my what if. Not then.

 

But it did. I fell in love with you - with how you stubbornly pursued me despite knowing my condition. And if you didn't, I suppose I will still fall in love with you.

 

Will you accept us? Will you allow us to be the one and only flaw in your life?”

 

 

 

“Lu Han, you’re my what’s real.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> To make up for this piece of trash, I'm continuing the original fic/story line that I was supposed to submit and maybe, it'll get to see the light.


End file.
